He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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