So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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