dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it because I queefed?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
