god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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