ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
