why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
