Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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