He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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