Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
