just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
