i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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