My boss' voice literally gives me gas
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
