I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
