Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
