I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The Olympian is in my bed
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
