I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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