There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sext me about skeletons
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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