Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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