That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
