I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
