Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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