Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You can't just leave with hair like that
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
