Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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