Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
