One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
