I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
