You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
