you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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