So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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