Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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