is your mom at the bar?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
