Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize