I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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