Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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