I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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