That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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