so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
