Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
