he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
