from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
