he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
