So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had sex on a roof
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize