Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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