I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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