My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
