i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
