She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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