Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
