there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
