the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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