I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
