Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
