my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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