I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
