So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
