# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
