Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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