with your own penis?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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