how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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